…but it seems like there are volumes stuck in my head. Disjointed blurts. It hurts. I’m scared. I’m lost. He seems angry all the time now; not at me, just generally pissed off with the world. He’s acerbic. Vexatious. It’s like he wants to prove how he needs to not be here. Throwing out cavalier [...]
There are conversations you never seem to be prepared for: like for parents, the birds and the bees talk. However, we all “know” it’s coming, so we can be somewhat prepared. When you love someone who is in the throes of depression, sometimes dark conversations come up, and there isn’t anything, anywhere that can make [...]
We’re there again. Well, we’ve actually been here for several weeks; keeping in “the routine” of getting up, going to work, come home, go to bed. Wish I could find the inspiration to write when he is up; this blog looks like nothing but depressing moments. That’s not true; there are many really, really good [...]
February 23rd. Week 4 and he is almost back out of it. There has been productivity, some intimacy and general clear thinking. It’s a good thing.
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When he’s down in that deep place, it’s really difficult for even me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything seems final, seems like the world [...]
…because if I didn’t, I’d cry.
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We’re in One Of Those Times again and I’m questioning my strength to make it. I mean, it’s only been 5 days, but this time it started when I was already tired, stressed and overwhelmed with general life… now this gets thrown in. It’s tough to not let this blog [...]
It’s happening again. I don’t know if I have the energy or strength this time ’round to carry both of us through. It is a very stressful time, I know… just hope that the universe see fit to send a silver lining our way.
Remember the good old days when you had those roller skates? Not the in-line ones, the ones with the metal key that you snugged around your toes. They made you feel fast – sometimes they dug in, but oh, just letting yourself go down that hill… so much speed, so fun. They were freedom, they [...]
We’re there again. I know that there is nothing I can do but sit back and ride the wave – still hurts, is frustrating and scares me. It happened so quickly… the morning on Thursday was good, then flip! The switch happened. I’m pretty sure I know what the trigger was, but he’s in no [...]
This article touched me, makes me wonder “What if he gets to that point ever again… is the help available?”
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I know I have been a bad blogger lately; after finding out that I didn’t actually have cancer, life took on a new focus. This focus has been very inward, but with outward consequences (mainly, a mohawk, but that’s a whole other story…).
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Things have been good. Very good. It was actually very helpful to live [...]